The 5 Songs That Will Forever Remind Me of Petrozavodsk

That's it. The lessons have finally finished for us 13 weekers in Petrozavodsk, we are in the last week. I am left with mixed emotions about leaving, part of me wants to stay in Petrozavodsk, my little microcosm of "русский рай" (Russian paradise) to go back to "Английский ад" (English Hell) but then also I can't wait to get back to England.

I thought as music is a huge part of my life and something I could talk about with people for hours and using an idea from The Mancunion (University of Manchester's student paper, which I also write for, if you didn't know) here are my "Top 5 Songs That Will Forever Remind Me of Petrozavodsk".

Number 5: Катюша (Katyusha) 

Surprisingly this is the only Russian language song in this list and it comes in at the bottom. Despite hearing several drunken renditions by friends and one odd rendition from my host's daughter, I can still only remember the first line "Расцветали яблони и груши" (Rastsvetali yabloni i grushi, or in English, Apple and pear trees were blooming). One friend comes to mind that when he has been drinking a bit, he cannot wait to start singing Katyusha. In fact last weekend he requested it to be played by someone playing Sigmund Freud (The bar not the person I must add). His request was granted and many of the Russians joined in. So in conclusion, if you want a good sing-a-long in Russian, break out the Katyusha.


Number 4: Bara Bará Bere Berê - Alex Ferrari

This song is so annoying and shit but it is one of the songs I've heard the most whilst being in our local watering hole, PTZ Pivnoi Bar. This may go off on a tangent but the Russian choice of music lacks any logic. Several times it has changed from Rammstein or Slipknot to Nicki Minaj or this song. Back onto this song, the annoying part is the chorus gets stuck in your head and you end up remembering it and it will just not go away. However, this song may be shit but it will remind me of Petrozavodsk and a few Nevskoiye beers or some Medovokas (Mead). And luckily for me, I don't see this song breaking in to the UK any time soon.

Number 3: Ai Se Eu Te Pego - Michel Telo

 

Another song in the list not sang in English or Russian so I don't think I understand it but neither do the Russians, however, from the music video all I can conclude from the screaming girls is that he is some kind of  Portuguese Justin Bieber and the aforementioned Alex Ferrari is just some kind of Portuguse pervert in his music video. This song taught me that when Russians don't know the lyrics they will just make sounds that fit into the lyrics which to me seems very odd. But yet again it is another shitty song, in my opinion, but it has been on so often on Europa Plus or in clubs and bars that it has just become a memory of PTZ to me.

Number 2: Gangnam Style - PSY
  

"You know what I'm saying?!?" I think most people knew this would be here but could be surprised that it wasn't number 1 on my list. The song was released and became popular around the world but never really hit Russia. I remember the first time I saw it on in PTZ, you could have heard a pin drop, all the Russians were fixated on this portly Korean riding an imaginary horse. Unfortunately, Russians have not yet adapted to this dance created by PSY himself so when a friend and I started doing it at a student party we got more than odd looks. Probably, "англичанин" (Englishman) was said more than a few times in our direction. While they thought we were taking the piss (we were as guys dance over here like a elephant having a fit), we thought they were judging us like were in Zebra (a club that only those "who are serious about dancing" go to in Yekaterinburg.

Number 1: Euphoria - Loreen

It is a song you cannot get away from in Russia. I believe I heard this on the first day I was in Russia and to date I must have heard it at least once each day from Europa Plus or being in a bar. And the sad fact is; I'm actually starting to like it. It seems odd that Russia play this song so much and it was the one that beat their Babushkas in Eurovision earlier this year. I am going to miss not hearing this every day from now on and I now think I won't ever be able to get sick of this song. Well, it certainly beats hearing Bara bara bere bere for the millionth time as this actually has proper lyrics.

Guess who's back? Back again...

Well, I have returned from my journey into Asian Russia and Yekaterinburg. I will fill you in on all of what happened but when I am feeling a bit more fresh and less like having been on a train for 84 hours in a week. The week included spending £4.50 on some Orange Juice after a miscommunication, eating a McDonalds outside one of the museums in Red Square and a ridiculously expensive half-pint in Moscow. Oh and we did take in some culture too with the Beatles and Qwerty monuments...

The biggest news at the moment though is... The Holidays are Coming

Just popping to Siberia and Asia, want me to get you anything?

So after much deliberation and changing of minds, we finally settled on what we were going to do for our reading week. After choosing Moscow then changing our minds to Vorkuta (possibly only known to some for its Gulag that was a level in Call of Duty: Black Ops), we chose Yekaterinburg. No more changing our minds, we bought the tickets and during that time we amassed a huge queue forming behind us and some pissed off looking Russians.

Platz Class carriage minus the people.

Our tickets are the height of Russian luxury... for third class (also known as Platzkart). Having read a few blogs about travelers using the Platz class and with them many various opinions. One person called it "Platzkart Hell" whilst others said it was a taste of the real Russia and people are friendly and will share food, and more importantly, vodka with you for the duration of the journey. 

The journey will start with a 12 hour trip to Moscow featuring this song on repeat Dschingis Khan - Moskau an overnight stay there and hopefully a Chinese restaurant as well. Russians love their sushi, the majority of restaurants in Petrozavodsk serve sushi. However, there are no Chinese restaurants. What I would do for some Oriental food right now...

Platz Class carriage plus the people.

The journey will continue with a 27 hour journey from Moscow to Yekaterinburg; all on a top bunk to add salt to the wounds. The return journey will be the killer though, we depart Yekaterinburg on the 8th November at 11.41 a.m. and arrive in Petrozavodsk at 12:18 p.m. with only a 5 hour stop in Moscow. On the upside, we will have been on the Trans-Siberian.


I am not entirely sure why I have chosen to go Yekaterinburg, all I know about it is the Romanovs were executed there, there are a mass of Mafioso graves and a monument to the QWERTY keyboard. We can stand in two continents at the same time.

Just over a week until we depart Petrozavodsk for our journey that will last 82 hours overall. It will be an experience, however it might be a one I am not in a rush to repeat any time soon.

Let it sneg! Let it sneg! Let it sneg!

Byez Snyega

So it has finally happened. It has snowed in Russia and I currently feel like a 5 year old child in a sweet shop. Coming from a place that would be lucky to see a millimetre of snow settle, looking out my window today, I did not expect to see the vast amount of snow and white plains, especially at the end of October. All the students from British universities stand out, it's almost like they haven't seen snow before. The Russians on the other hand, couldn't care less about the snow.

So snyegom

Currently snow seems great but it might be short-lived when I realise packing only two pairs of shoes was a huge mistake, but even worse neither of them are very grippy and with the incoming ice, I'm sure I'll spend the remainder of my time in Petrozavodsk on my arse, whilst being laughed at by Russians, who can manage to walk on black ice in heels and stilettos with no problems.

People in England have already started to complain that it is getting cold. Cold? COLD?!? I'd do anything to have a day that was 0 degrees Celsius. Today the maximum temperature it will reach in Petrozavodsk is -1 degrees Celcius (and currently it is said to be feeling like -10 degrees Celcius).

As Shakin' Stevens puts it; "Snow is falling, all around me, children playing, having fun" and now its snowing, I feel rather Christmas-y. 

I think the thermals might need to be broken out soon...

Russian Jägerbombs

While in Kivach (the bar not the waterfall), my friend and I were talking to Max, the barman, and after Jack and Coke for me and a Gin and Tonic for my friend, we decided to ask for Jägerbombs. Please bear in mind this was at around midday...

Jägerbombs are well known throughout the United Kingdom and are a staple for most student nights out. Some students might even have had their first bad experience of alcohol off them. A Jägerbomb is simple really, a can of an energy drink (Monster preferably, none of this Red Bull-shit) and a shot of Jägermeister and drop the shot of Jäger into the glass full of Monster and chug. But Russians have decided to be different and all that something else. A Russian Jägerbomb is even better.

What is a Russian Jägerbomb I hear you ask? Please inform me. Well if you were expecting some big surprise you might be disappointed. Take 500ml of any lager, in our case we drank Petrovskoye "Петровское", and drop the shot of Jägermeister into it. In my opinion it is a rival to the traditional Jägerbomb and there's no bad aftertaste that you get from Red Bull.

This is not the only weird cocktail, for want of a better word, that the Russians drink. There are rumours of a cocktail which is two-thirds of a pint of lager and the rest filled with vodka, but whether this was a Russian trying to see how gullible I was in a drunken state, I am unsure.

Karelian honey

It is also rumoured that my favourite tipple is served in our local, PTZ Pivnoi Bar. I cannot believe that Russians have heard of cider but whether it can rival Strongbow will only be decided when I can find some to try. A few of us had the privilege to go to the regional market in Kirov Square. The market would be perfect for anyone who adores both honey and cabbages as arctic lorries are full to the brim with cabbages (selling for only 10 RUB each, roughly 20p) and over 20 stalls selling honey and all free to try.

However, after a few circles of the market, all of us managed to miss the stall selling regional cider and the Russian version of dripping. It was only after drinking with some Russians in PTZ who mentioned the cider. Unfortunately, it closed almost two weeks ago.

PS I refer back to my previous post, I am not an alcoholic... yet.

Mormons and Sanches Do Not Mix.

Again, it has been a while since I have updated the blog, getting distracted by watching the Russian national team attempt (quite well, I must admit) to qualify for the World Cup and just being in a small town in Russia, there has not been a lot going on.

However, a week or so ago, while a group of us were ordering food in Sanches, a very fine, reputable Mexican restaurant with an atmosphere second to none, we were approached by a man in a suit. He was American and asking us each where we came from in England (not that he knew any other place than London it seemed). Then, he got onto his agenda...

He was here in Petrozavodsk for a total time of two years to help spread the word of the Church of the Latter Day Saints, AKA Mormons. He asked us if we had even heard of them previously or Joseph Smith, in his words "except for in South Park". Now me being a rather non-religious man, I was hoping that he would not continue to ask us to his meetings in their church... he did.

He was pleasant enough but when we asked how many people had converted religions over the 17 or so years they have been here he replied with around 150. 14 a year seems a tiny amount and he even admitted that most do not turn up anymore. But the big question remains; Why are a group of Mormons, who believe in covering their bodies so much, in a reputable restaurant like Sanches, where the waitresses expose their midrift? In layman's terms, Sanches is almost the Russian version of Hooters, admittedly with better food. For those not in the know I have included a picture of some Hooters girls.

Anyway, to move back on to the subject, the conversation seemed to drag and he clearly believed that he could change our viewpoints. Just as we were growing bored of the conversation, the waitress brought us our Baltikas and Coronas. I think the Mormon could finally see he wouldn't be able to convert us. Why, when I am in a country with 1 Litre cans of Baltika and £2 bottles of Vodka would I want to be teetotal?

P.S. I am not an alcoholic.

The Bear and The Bea(tles)

It has been a while since I have updated the blog with a mix of being busy and Russian Freshers flu hitting hard, I've found little time to update my blog. Even if this post should have been up a week or so ago, just bear with me. Oh and warning there will be numerous bear references, this is the tip of the iceberg and if you don't like it, this post will probably unbearable.

Петрозаводский государственный университет a.k.a. PetrSU

Two weeks ago, we had one of our first lectures with Vladimir Semakov, who will be teaching some of us Russian grammar for the time we are here. He introduced himself by patronymic and all and his name could rival some of the tongue twisters ("скороговорки") we had studied in a previous lesson, Vladimir Benaminovich Semakov. He quickly explains that even native Russian speakers have a problem with his patronymic but we try our best.

After introductions are out of the way, Vladimir talks about Russian poetry and explains because of the noun endings, poets can make pretty much any two words rhyme because of their amount of variants such as стол, стол, стола, столы, столом, столе, стола, стола, столов, столам, столами and столах (to non-Russian speakers all mean table) whereas English only has table and tables.

Vladimir thinks for a while about a famous line from English poetry, after all there are many choices; Lord Byron, William Shakespeare, John Keats to name just a few, but his choice even shocked me.
He recites the line "When I find myself in times of trouble/ Mother Mary comes to me/ Speaking words of wisdom/ Let it be."* I have to admit it is a good rhyme but it wasn't exactly what I expected Vladimir to use as a prime example of English poetry.

After the fun of our grammar lesson a few of us decide to go to a restaurant that sells bear. My friend walks in calmly and says to the waitress "Do you sell bear?" She confirms this and we sit down and have a look at the menu knowing that we have only come here to taste some bear. Bear here seems a bit pricey but it's all for the Russian experience, 850RUB for some bear seems expensive but it's only the equivalent to a steak in English terms (roughly £17).

Beer and a Bear: The bear is actually under the pastry

"Пиво и медведь", Beer and a bear, sounds much better than the Wetherspoon's classic 'Beer and a Burger'. The wait for our meal was described in the menu at least 50 minutes. Some might say that the wait was 'unBEARable' (there is the mandatory crappy bear pun).

It was something that I would personally eat again but only rarely if someone else wanted to go there. The price may put some off but the taste is nothing like chicken. It is like a very rich steak, it was enjoyable but probably not worth the wait after all. 

At this point after the bear, I have been in Petrozavodsk for over a week. Petrozavodsk is famed for the Onega Lake but I seem to be the only one who hasn't been down that far yet, probably as the bars before it entice me in. Let's see how long I can go without going down to the lake... 9 days so far.


*For those uneducated few who don't know this lyric, listen to this and educate yourself: Let It Be - The Beatles

Kivach and Sasha

Some of us spent the time after the first day of university looking around the city. However, the majority of us did the typical student thing and found the first watering hole. This just happened to be Kivach, named after the waterfall, which by Russian standards is not too far from Petrozavodsk.

We spend time at the bar where we are all sampling Russian beers and one of us asks for a typically Russian cocktail. My Russian fails me hear but in pouring the drink, I believe Max, the barman, said it was called "Dog sick". The cocktail consisted of the Russian staple, vodka, Tobasco sauce, and a yellow unnamed spirit. When he finally downs it, it doesn't seem so bad, but the Tobasco sauce is yet to kick in. When it does, he starts to feel the sensation like heartburn but the staff at Kivach, especially Max, are laughing. It seems this joke is an annual one for us English students.

We all decide the next night to have our first night out with a few pints in Kivach. About 11 o'clock, one of our lecturers, Sasha, turns up and joins us. I have a feeling no lecturer at University of Manchester would just turn up and join you when you were having a pint.

Sasha has a very dry wit and good sense of humour. When one girl asked "Will I get raped if I walk home by myself?" he quickly replied "If you're lucky, but it's never happened to me" whilst casually taking a drag of his Lucky Strike.

Walking home after midnight can be both terrifying and a great experience in Russia. Because of the 24 hour bars in Petrozavodsk, it is almost impossible to make it home without seeing at least one drunk. But now it seems like we are back on the negative stereotypes of the alcoholic Russians...

First day (and drive) in Petrozavodsk.

With it being almost a week since my last post, I felt the weekend was an opportune time to update my ventures of the previous week.

After waking up almost 3 hours later than I had planned for my first day, I woke feeling fairly fresh and hoping to have a look around Petrozavodsk and maybe go down to the lake Onega. After breakfast with Tatyana she explains the best ways (by foot, Marshruta and Trolleybus) to get to the Petrozavodsk State University. But after a long talk over a cup of tea, Tatyana suggested going for a drive with her to pick up, her daughter, Leah from university. I thought nothing of it and it would be a good way to gather my bearings and points of interest.

Russian roads are often criticised for their poor standard. But I just thought this was one of the famous negative stereotypes we have of Russia and that my cultural visit here would help me disprove the vodka drinking, bear baiting images we have of Russia. How wrong I was when it comes to roads...

People in England complain about small potholes on the roads  However if they were to drive on Russian roads, they'd probably see our roads as a red carpet to drive on. Russian drivers often swerve, almost like drink drivers, but it is necessary. The roads have pot holes, and some even have parts of the road missing. Oh and it seems it is unheard of here to wear your seat belt in any car.

While on the journey, the mixtape that is on in the car seems to show that the people I am living with have a good taste in music (in my opinion) with the likes of Metallica's 'Nothing Else Matters' and Bullet for my Valentine's 'Hand of Blood'.

It seems that in Petrozavodsk all the money for the road surfacing has been spent on the main road which the State University is on and the rest have just been scrimped and saved on. Tatyana later informed me that there are some experts from St. Petersburg will soon come and help rebuild the roads but how well that will be done is unknown.

As I have mentioned the Marshrutkas previously, I should explain what they are. They are unlicensed transit vans with a few seats in the back which pick people up at the bus stops throughout the city. I am yet to use one as most sound like they could explode at any time. The transport throughout the city is cheap though, both the Trolleybus and the Marshrutkas cost less than 15 RUB (or 40p). Certainly a hell of a lot cheaper than Stagecoach buses in Torquay.

But at this present moment, it is hot enough and the sun is shining so why not take advantage as soon the nights will draw in, the snow will fall and the mercury will dip below 0.

The Bus, The Plane and Why We Should Have Taken the Train.

So, after months of panic, visa issues, HIV test and second guessing the GBP/RUB exchange rate, it was finally time to be a man and leave Torquay, Manchester and eventually Heathrow in my tracks and land in St. Petersburg without a hitch. But that’s when it started to go wrong…

While on the plane, the idea of taking advantage of the complementary alcohol seems like a good idea, not for now but for the bus ride to Petrozavodsk, hoping that it doesn’t have an adverse effect on the Dutch courage or worsen the nerves.

Having thought we had all cleared passport control and baggage reclaim some of us left the airport with high hopes of getting to Petrozavodsk before midnight (even if it was a six hour bus journey that I can safely say none of us were looking forward to). But unfortunately British Airways had misplaced someone’s suitcase for Petrozavodsk and numerous other people who travelled with RLUS to St. Petersburg with us. 

We waited in the foyer of the airport, casually getting to know one another and suddenly it dawns on me that, I am, in fact, in Russia. The signs in Lubkovo Airport might be in English but this will be some of the last English words I see in advertising which will suddenly be replaced by «ардена» followed by miles and miles of forest. I guess that serves me right for choosing Petrozavodsk in the first place. Panic begins to set in and I hope that «Я не понимаю!» or «конечно» will suffice for any given situation.

Eventually, we are joined by the unfortunate one who lost his suitcases. We are then greeted by Sasha, who calmly stands there waving while looking more interested in each drag of the cigarette he has in his mouth that introducing himself. Did I mention he is one of our lecturers?

The bus arrives to drive us on the long, arduous journey to the Republic of Karelia, the large amount of us are eager to get on the road and get our suitcases packed on the bus, but the driver has other ideas. He tells us that they don’t need to be packed underneath the bus, just put them on the back seat… all thirty or so cases. This whole experience ruined the student chant “There were [insert number here] on the back seat of the bus”. We finally set off, hours later than planned but hey, we’ve finally hit the open road.

The roads are long in Russia and not the best standards with our bus driver, who is currently on his mobile phone, swerving in an attempt to dodge numerous potholes or maybe he’s been at the cheap vodka and likes scaring English or International students half to death. Each time a huge swerve to the left was felt all one could do is hope nothing was coming the other side as they are preparing to overtake the countless HGVs seen on the road.

We pull in after a few hours to a small shop in the middle of the forest when its pitch black with a few men sat outside grilling various types of meat. This is made to look more like a horror scene with a Volvo with its boot open to show everyone the three carcasses in the back. We hastily board the bus to try and get out of the newly named “Meat Shack” and Sasha informs us its only “90 minutes away”. How wrong he was.

A few kilometres down the road, the back of the bus seems to be shaking, while it is natural for it to shake from time to time, suddenly without warning huge clouds of smoke coming pouring out the car. The majority of us seem to think that we won’t be getting close to Petrozavodsk any time soon and I don’t want to be there to deal with a pissed off babushka having to stay up until the wee hours. A voice calls out from the back and compares the likeness of our situation to that of Jeepers Creepers 2 which inevitably leads to some scared faces around.

The driver just gets out and picks up a hammer and two chisels in an attempt to fix the problem and Sasha explains the situation: “We won’t be moving for some time, so just go out and play but not in the middle of the road”. Off the bus, we are open to four of Russia’s biggest problems; Bears, wolves, Russian drivers and Russia itself. He is still hammering away and then decides to give the engine a rev, the sound is ear splitting and those vibrations cannot be doing this any bus any good.

Finally, the bus seems to having calmed down, those vibrations are still there but have died down and as Willie Nelson says it best, we’re “on the road again”. The next 100 odd miles are just a blur; we all just want to go to sleep and are apprehensive about our first conversation with our host families.

Arriving in Petrozavodsk, the end is almost in sight. There is a bed somewhere in this town calling for me. But one of the biggest tasks is still to come… The suitcases that take up the entire back seat and then some are needed by people as they are getting dropped off near their various houses. I am not the first one but the second time we stop, my name is called out and unfortunately my two suitcases are underneath almost everything. I get off the bus with my suitcases hoping to see my host family who I only know is called Tatyana. But then I am told by Sasha to get back on its a few more kilometres down the road.

The end of the beginning of the journey has come, I feel tired, exhausted and the last thing on my mind is Russian and case endings. Luckily, my host mother used to be a teacher of English and did some higher education classes in it so she decides to give me the day off and allow me to speak a bit of English here and there over a cup of tea. Having been told via email only my host mothers name I assumed that it was only two of us. I was wrong, her 19 year old daughter Lea is asleep and her husband is at his job where he works 24 hour shifts with three days off after.

But time has come, I must hit the hay but and soon as I lay down, I now cannot sleep and its 3a.m. here but only midnight in the UK. A few hours later and I am out for the count. I told Tatyana that I was intending to wake up for 8.30 for breakfast but I severely doubt that will happen.

Introductions

Apologies in advance for both the cheesy T.a.T.u and RLUS reference and an even worse blog name. I have stolen the idea after seeing numerous people set up blogs whilst on their year abroad. Well, let's get an introduction out of the way.

I am James but more commonly known to many as Bertie. I am a third year student of the University of Manchester on my year abroad in Russia. I will be visiting both Petrozavodsk and St. Petersburg and hope to inform all about the 31 week I will spend in Russia. I hope whilst I am here to also blog more on my other one with music articles, album reviews and possibly some live reviews.

The first 48 hours of being in Karelia have been manic from the bus breaking down during our trip to Petrozavodsk from Pulkovo Airport to spotting a few wolves that have strayed from the woods but you will have to wait to read about these in the upcoming days...

For now Пока!